Your wedding budget is not a reflection of the value you put on love.

*Warning: Wordy post. Ranty post. Kind of thinky too. Read at lunch, with a coffee. Or while your fiancé is watching a show you don’t like. But definitely when you have a little time to kill…

Ok so I have not touched this whole Kim Kardashian business with a ten foot pole. There’s no other reason than really, who cares? I mean, I am obviously interested and intrigued (like any other reality TV addicted bride) but everyone else is already talking about it – everyone has a thought, a theory, an explanation, a defense. I have no additional insight – I only hope she is as mortified as any non-famous bride would be if their marriage fell apart that quickly.

But in my internet stalking, I came across this article from the Huffington Post, which speaks to how Ms. K is like any other bride – just got caught up in all the excitement. Sure, fine but that’s not really what struck me about the piece – what struck me was at the very end, the author, Xochitl Gonzalez, asks an interesting question.

If it were suddenly a universally socially acceptable custom to take 20K-100K to celebrate our 30th birthdays in a lavish and extravagant way, would we have as many weddings? Would we have as many divorces?

I think what the author is really asking is – why do we justify the expense on our wedding when we can’t guarantee the outcome – why don’t we just empower and celebrate ourselves as individuals, a relationship that we can control? (I know, I clearly had my smart hat on that day)

Here’s what I think (not that anyone asked).

I think those people who would spend $30k on a birthday party are already doing it, wedding or no wedding. I think people who their lives with glamour and extravagance do so wholeheartedly, no matter what the budget. To put up Christmas lights in your tiny downtown apartment, and serve a spiked punch that you renamed so it became a special cocktail – people who do those types of things at their weddings would also do so for their 24th birthday in July with no air conditioning.

People who are more low key – couples who enjoy a nice dinner with close family and friends, and then buy a couple bottles of champagne to toast each other – they would toast each other with gold-flaked Cristal or Arbour Mist.

I sometimes get a little confused why people associate excitement, planning, extravagance with a lack of understanding of the commitment of marriage. Are there stats somewhere I haven’t seen? That 50% of marriages in which the weddings cost 15% or more of the households annual income last five years or less?

So maybe this comes full circle – do you think Kim K’s has tarnished the integrity of a couple who plans an extravagant weddings?

Live your life – plan your wedding. You celebrating your marriage wholeheartedly is not compromising the longevity of your relationship.